Tuesday, May 01, 2007

A lot of people will tell you that they are the most themselves when they are doing something that brings out what they feel is the best in them. Being on stage, for example. Making love with someone they feel passionately about. Painting, writing, anything creative. Skydiving. Dancing, doing drugs, even. We associate euphoric happiness with a sense of true self knowledge. "This is the real me," we think. And maybe to a degree it's true.

But personally... I think who we really are is the person we are in the dark. When all the light is gone, when we can barely see our hands in front of us, nevermind the adoring audience, or the masterpiece before you, or the earth moving toward you at a rapid pace. When all the atmosphere is gone - sultry candlelight, invigorating sunshine, penetrating spotlights; cool breeze, fast wind, hot breath, thick air. Without adrenaline. Without something, anything, to drive you to feel passionate.

When it's just you and your thoughts. Because when it really comes down to it, who the hell are you but what happens inside your brain, a sentient muscle? So when the world around you is asleep, when all the stimuli is removed... I think that's when you are the most you.

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