You know I've been meaning to write about this particular occurrence
for awhile now, because it one of the most dazzling displays of
ignorance I've been witness to in a long, long time. (The last one
being that day in July when my cousinBrandyLynn thought that that East
African Mind Bender snake was a local cat, and tried to pet it, and it
bit her, and she spent the next three days in a hollow tree trunk,
thinking she was a raccoon with ESP, and ate a lot of poisonous
mushrooms, and had to have her stomach pumped. Of course that's a
different kind of ignorance, and god knows what that African snake was
doing in Cincinnati, but I'll tell ya, it was a doozy.) However, since World of Warcraft
unexpectedly entered my life again, there is obviously time for little
else, such as purging murderous thoughts via the written word, or
personal hygiene.

The Illustrious D graciously allowed me the
pleasure of accompanying him to a play that was being featured at a
theatre for which he had season tickets, if you will. It was entitled,
"Orpheus Descending" or, "Orpheus Rising," as I told everyone, because
I am in fact a complete and total idiot.
It was an amazing feat of
live theatre accomplishment; the performances given by all the actors
were unparallelled, the story itself a slow and bittersweet unfurling
of a flower you realized all too soon was doomed to perish, and the
mythological undertones combined with a haunting yet poignant
soundtrack made for one of the most profound and enjoyable plays I've
ever seen. Though at the end I was greatly saddened by the outcome, I
was still stricken at how amazing the unfolding of the events had been
to watch, and yeah, I cried a bit, what's yourfuckin ' deal?? It would
have been lovely to have been able to leave that theatre under the
assumption that everyone else had been as deeply affected as I know D
and I had been, to have been blissfully unaware that perhaps there
do exist people who
simply lack the intelligence and range of emotion to get anything
positive out of a story like the one we had just been told.
But of course, as we were putting our coats on, from behing my right shoulder I heard the unmistakable CAW of a simple-minded hen, clucking non-sensically to her poultry companions.

"I'll tell you - buhCAW! - that was the second play I've seen here, and it's the second - buh-buhCAW! - one I didn't like. One more strike and this place is - buhCAAAW! - out. BUHCAW! I know not all endings - buhcaw - are supposed to happy, but I mean come on."

No
YOU come on, lady. Or, even better, allow me to present you with a
DROPKICK TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD, you fucking moron. I couldn't even
believe it. I KNOW to each his own, alright, I know it, and I know that
it doesn't necessarily make that woman a bad person, that she didn't
like the play, even though it obviously DOES, but for the love of god,
stay home already.


Bon Voyage, Unity

Yep,
I'm leaving for Florida in four days. I wish to god I weren't terrified
of being in an airplane these days, but hey, there it is. I know I'll
live,yaddya yaddya yaddya , but I mean, do I really know? The answer is,
in fact, NO, so if I should happen to die in a horrifying plane crash,
I'd just like to say "So long, and thanks for all the fish," only that
is clearly a direct quote from Douglas Adams, andthusly I won't. I WOULD like to say... ... Shit, nothing, this is depressing and I'm alone, I'M NOT GOING TO DIE ON THAT AIRPLANE.

Thank you, and goodnight.